Tuesday, December 9, 2008

It's Getting Ugly Out There


Fundamentalists hate it when you use their own words against them. Who can blame them though? It's like in the final scene of 8-Mile, when Rabbit (Eminem) uses his opponents own ammunition against him, thus taking the crown as the hottest rapper in the 313. Well this week Newsweek decided to steal the ammunition of all those gay hating, God loving Christians, and examine the Bible themselves to see just exactly how the good book interprets the institution of marriage.
Result: Well let's just say that a lot of God fearing (and Homo fearing) people aren't too happy with one of the last legimitate news sources in America. Apparently Newsweek discovered that the institution is a far more ambigous topic than we first thought. At least by Biblical standards. For one thing; polygamy is perfectly okay, as long as you can afford it. Sleeping with your servant because your wife's too old is also okay as long its for procreation. According to St. Paul, marriage is something that should be avoided at all costs. That is unless you're just too horny. His words, not mine. There were some other interesting facts presented but overall the published article made a pretty strong argument that if you're going to use the Bible in order to make a case for a one man/ one woman monogomous relationship, you may hit some serious road bumps along the way.
Ironically, the people who have cherry picked the good word for centuries in order to justify their cultural tastes are now blaming Newsweek for doing just the same. Don't you know that's their bag not your's you college-educated book worms?! So what's the best way to handle oneself when your notes were stolen and you've been beat at your own game? Well what else: condascencion.
"If you're going to pretend that opposition to same-sex marriage is based Sola Scriptura, could we at least get our Scripture right?" remarked Mollie Hemingway, founder of getreligion.org. She claims that the person who wrote the article (Lisa Miller, religion editor, Newsweek) was simply a "dire mess" in her study. That's the viewpoint of most conservative pastors, conservative newspapers, and religous lobbyists. Most claim that her study was "full of holes" and that she should have studied the Bible in it's full context instead of just the scriptures dealing with marriage. Right. So the whole context of the Bible is that gays are evil and should be treated as second class citizens within a secular government? There are many sources that have praised her article saying that it was refreshing examination of well worn argument. Though there are still many critics. Mark Hemingway (relation? I don't know) from The National Review claims that Miller's piece is " filtered through an almost exclusively liberal political lense".
Ah, there it is.
Liberal . Whenever there's a criticism, or counterpoint, or even just a new idea, the conservative evangelical community just loves to blame the "secret liberal media agenda". To them, labeling something liberal is the same as labeling ground beef "Grade D" . Don't digest it because if you do you may turn into a vegetarian. Or a homo. Or an agnostic. Or a Grad student. The thought of it is almost sinful. Well I'm sorry Hemingway (you too Ernie) but just because someone looked at your favorite book and found something besides the same bologna you've been peddling for years, doesn't mean a socialist conspiracy is at hand. As the old saying goes, "If people are angry, you know you're doing something right".
This article didn't just drop from the sky (neither did the Bible) and it's not just a few elite journalists in New York trying to piss off "real" America. This article is a giant log being thrown onto an already burning fire. Evangelicals and Mormons overturned Prop. 8 and thought they scored a victory. Well Southern racists thought they could beat Emancipation with Jim Crow and we see (Yes We Can) how that turned out. This isn't the first time that gay marriage supporters have turned to the Bible, and it's clear that it won't be the last. Conservative Christians have for centuries misused the Bible to justify their own sins: the Crusades, the Inquisition, women's equality, anti-semitism, slavery, manifest destiny, imperialism, interracial marriage, and yes even gay equality.
Hatred and ignorance are just as much sins as theft and adultery. Using the word of God to justify oppresion, violence, and division is blasphemy. Today we look at the Bible and see that the verses which support slavery and polygamy are wrong. We understand these things because Jesus Christ taught us the principles behind love, tolerance and common sense. Still it took us centuries before we realized that enslaving Africans wasn't what Jesus intended. Christ new the Bible better than any Pharisee, and he determined what was important. He determined that love and acceptance is more important than condemning those you don't understand.
Still, the World continues to be an ugly place. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. For those Americans who seek dignity and equality, they first must fight for it in the streets and in the Churches. For all Americans this has been our common history: Colonists v. the British Empire, immigrants v. nativists, women against their husbands, Catholics against Protestants, blacks against whites, and now gays against straights.
It's certainly is getting ugly out there, but this storm like all of the others, will only bring a better tomorrow. I think I heard a story like that somewhere?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A message to Tom Cruise: Knock it off!

As the Christmas season fast approaches, the movie industry prepares to roll out some of it's biggest projects of the year. The holiday season is one of the bussiest times for movie theaters as an influx of mall shoppers, and let's be honest, Jews, crowd into darkened rooms to escape all of the Gentile consumerism and goodwill. So with all of Yahweh's Chosen crowded into one place, what couldn't be a better time to premiere a film about Nazi's?


Valkyrie starring Tom Cruise, tells the story of the (movie spoiler!) FAILED assasination attempt of Hitler by a group of Nazi dissenters led by Colonel Claus von Staffenburg (Cruise). Perhaps they thought that with a name like "Claus" they could try and pass it as a Christmas flick. The preliminary critiques all hint that it may actually be good. What they forget to factor though was what I call the "Cruise factor" where you take a good story and ruin it by putting an undersized egotist as it's main character. Now I don't know you're personal feelings about Tom Cruise, but I despise him. Sure he was good in Top Gun, but fighter pilots are supposed to be short. Boxers and Nazi Storm Troopers? I think not. It's not his height that I look down on him for (I'm 6'2'' so I guess a little bit) but his need to play the shining saviour in nearly every one of his films.


Take the film The Last Samuri (2003) a film which in my opinion tells a great story. It's a great story until Tom Cruise shows up, becomes the last Samuri and completely steals Ken Watanabe's thunder. Explain to me how a white guy from California can be the last Samuri? He can't, unless of course he's Tom Cruise, then all reality can be suspended so his pearly choppers can fill up the celluloide while my choppers grind against each other in anger.
So to all my Jewish friends out there: On Christmas day don't go to the movies. Stay home, play in the snow, volunteer at a homeless shelter, paint the living room, call Grandma in Florida, just don't go wasting your money on a Nazi film starring Tom Cruise. The guy isn't even German. He doesn't even put on an accent in the film. If that doesn't show you his lack of talent, I don't know what does. Besides, wouldn't you rather go see a film where Hitler actually gets what's coming to him?
-McGair


Monday, November 17, 2008

Dirty Socks


Poor dirty old socks. You receive no respect for the service you provide while being worn. Quickly cast off you are thrown into a bin, or under the bed, or into the corner of the bedroom with the other dirty socks that have come before you. Many are just like you. All used, sweated on, worked until their soles (souls) wore out, blackened and sometimes yellowed from extended work. You are treated just like those other guys you share a drawer with; the hankerchiefs.

Rarely does anyone ever stop to think about how important you are, and the many ways you can help us share the stories of the day. You literally stand in our shoes, feel what we feel, go where we go and quietly leave us visual markers of where we have been; grass stains, puddles, dog hair, pieces of carpet. You remind us of so many events from the day. So how do we repay you? By leaving you under the couch for a week until we accidently suck you into the vacuum cleaner. Well, no more.

I dedicate this blog to the socks on my feet and to their brothers who are currently bound in my top drawer or stinking in the bottom of my hamper. I will tell the everyday stories that they share with me. If it rains and they get soaked, I will profess it. No more will they live in the darkness of my closet. For their story is my story and vice versa. This is The Sock Hamper, where stories are told and human/sock relations darned. Thank you.


(This blog is not about socks. That's crazy talk. It's just a place for me to share my stories and opinions from the day. So don't worry, you can keep coming back. I promise I won't make anymore more sock jokes.)

-McGair